i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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