I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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