Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
