This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
