Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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