My room smells like vodka and shame
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize