I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
