Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Come on in and take your pants off
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