Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
