just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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