We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
