Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Please don't give away my fajitas
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize