got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I don't think brook has ever known best
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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