You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
