So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
