it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
