Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
