We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We are two peas in an std pod
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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