oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
