I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You smell like stripper and shame
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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