Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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