the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
