what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
