that's an acceptable place to lick
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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