We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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