if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
