maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
