i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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