She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
