hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
