New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
