There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
