I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
