You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
