after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
