you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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