Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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