i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize