You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
