Well douche your snatch and let's go!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
