Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
