Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
