so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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