You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
