Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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