So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize