ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
