you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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