you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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