Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
