The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
