What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
