at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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