I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
