I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
