Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
