You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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