if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
