and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
