do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
