1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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