Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
