i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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