They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
