First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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