ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize