at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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