Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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