Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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