Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
