I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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