Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
