If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You can't special order awesome
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
