Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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